Our consent policy: what we expect of venues, and of you

Exhibitionism and voyeurism are about attention that's wanted. The moment someone hasn't agreed to be part of it, it stops being play and becomes something else: harassment, exposure or worse. That's why we never list public places, where passers-by are drawn in without a choice, and why consent is the first thing we look at when we decide whether to list a venue.

The principles

Consent means a free, clear and ongoing yes from every adult involved. These principles apply to every venue we list and every page we write.

• Adults only. Everyone present is 18 or over, and the venue checks.
• Everyone chose to be there. Nobody is watched, approached or touched who didn't come for that.
• Watching where it's invited. Some spaces are for watching, others aren't. Being in a room doesn't make someone fair game.
• A clear yes before touching. Every time, every person, including partners of the person you're with.
• No means no, and so does silence. Hesitation, looking away or moving away all mean no.
• Anyone can stop at any time. No reason needed, no argument accepted.
• No photos or filming of anyone, ever, without explicit agreement, and most venues ban it outright.
• Nobody too drunk or high to decide. Consent needs a clear head.

How the law defines consent

Our standards sit comfortably within the law, which in each country we cover treats consent as a free choice made by someone able to make it. These are the statutory definitions, given as general information rather than legal advice.

Canada's Criminal Code also says plainly that there is no consent where a person, having agreed, expresses by words or conduct a lack of agreement to continue. That is the legal version of a rule every good club already has: stop means stop. Australian states and territories, and US states, each set their own definitions.

What we expect of venues

We expect every venue we list to:

• admit adults only and check age or ID at the door;
• publish house rules that cover consent, phones and behaviour;
• have staff or hosts present who will deal with problems;
• remove guests who break their rules;
• run any themed night, including outdoor or car-park themes, entirely on private premises.

Our current listings confirm only that each venue's own website showed it operating on the check date, so read its house rules yourself before you go. We don't list venues that advertise sex in public places, imply anyone present might be under 18, or encourage heavy drinking as part of the night. If we learn that a listed venue no longer meets these standards, we take the listing down while we look into it. How we check is in our editorial policy.

What we expect of you

Read the venue's house rules before you go, and follow them. Take your lead from the people around you, and when you're not sure, ask: a simple "Would you mind if I watched?" or "Can I join you?" is normal at any good club, and "No, thanks" is a complete answer. Couples should agree their own limits before they arrive, and stick to them.

Our guide to consent at clubs and parties covers the practical side: how to ask, how to say no politely and what to do when someone doesn't listen. Etiquette at clubs and private parties covers the rest of the unwritten rules, and your first club visit explains how a night usually runs.

When something goes wrong

If someone ignores a no, step away and tell staff straight away. That's what they're there for. If you've been hurt or assaulted, call the police; in an emergency that's 999 in the UK, 000 in Australia and 911 in Canada or the US. Our safety page covers what to do next.

Then tell us, naming the venue and the date. We don't publish individual accounts, but we take them into account when we decide whether a venue stays listed.

The members area

The same principles apply to the Go Dogging members area. Meeting someone there doesn't mean they've agreed to anything; what you arrange together, in advance and in plain words, is what you've both agreed to, and either of you can still change your mind.