Keeping your privacy at clubs, parties and events

Who can see you at a venue

At a club or private party, the people who can see you are other adults who have chosen to be there. That is the whole point, and it is also the limit of what you have agreed to. Being seen in the room is one thing; being identified, photographed or talked about outside it is another.

Good venues protect this in a few ways: phones banned in play areas, cameras not allowed, discreet signage, and a culture where what happens inside stays there. When you choose somewhere from our city guides, look for those rules in writing on the venue's own website, and ask if you can't find them.

If you see someone you know

Seeing a neighbour, colleague or old friend at a venue happens, and the scene has a settled way of handling it: say nothing outside, and let them decide whether to acknowledge you inside. A nod is plenty.

• Don't mention it at work, to mutual friends or online, even as a joke.
• If it makes you uncomfortable to stay, leave quietly; nobody needs an explanation.
• If someone you know threatens to tell people, that is their problem to answer for, not yours. Tell venue staff if it happens on the premises.

Our etiquette guide covers discretion and the other unwritten rules in more detail.

Photos and video are the real risk

A night out leaves no trace unless someone records it. Most privacy disasters on the scene start with a photo or a video: one taken without permission, or one that was agreed at the time and later shared.

• Never agree to photos you wouldn't be comfortable seeing online with your name attached.
• If you do agree, be specific: who is in it, whether faces are shown, who keeps it, and that it is not to be shared.
• Report anyone using a phone in a play area to staff at once.

What the law says about images

Recording or sharing intimate images without consent is a criminal offence in every country we cover, though each words it differently.

This is a summary, not legal advice.

Bookings, memberships and ID

Venues and party organisers handle personal details: your name, date of birth, sometimes a scan of your ID, your email and phone number. Treat that like any sensitive booking.

• Use an email address you keep for this side of your life, not your work account.
• Ask venues what they record from your ID, why, and how long they keep it. In the UK, you can ask an organisation for a copy of the data it holds about you, and complain to the Information Commissioner's Office if it won't deal with you properly.
• Be wary of any "event" that wants a lot of personal information or ID before it will tell you where it is. Our guide to spotting fake events explains why.

Here's an example of a polite question to send a venue before you register:

"Before I sign up, could you tell me what you record from my ID, how long you keep it, and what name will show on my card statement? Thanks."

Online profiles and chats

Before you ever reach a venue, you may chat with people online. A few habits keep that private:

• Keep your face out of profile pictures, or keep face pictures for people you've met and trust.
• Check photos for anything identifying in the background: your house, car, workplace, a uniform or a distinctive tattoo.
• Don't share your surname, workplace or home address until you've met someone and trust them.
• If someone pushes for explicit photos early, or threatens to share anything you've sent, stop replying and treat it as the scam it usually is.

A privacy checklist for the night

1. Separate email for bookings and profiles.
2. One payment card, and you know what name shows on the statement.
3. A venue that bans phones in play areas.
4. Nothing with your address on your keys or in your pockets.
5. A friend who knows where you are, but not necessarily what kind of venue it is. Our guide to getting there and home safely has a sample message.

If you use the Go Dogging members area

The members area is separate from this information website. If you join, here is what to know about your privacy there:

• Profiles are shared with partner sites in the same network. Members of other sites in the network can see your profile and message you.
• Photos are reviewed; what members write about themselves is not checked. An ID-verified badge is optional.
• Payments appear under the billing name shown at checkout.
• To stop paying, cancel in Settings > Billing; memberships renew automatically until you do. To delete your account, go to your avatar > Settings > Delete Account.

Our legal page explains how this website handles your data, and the members area has its own privacy policy.

If an image of you is shared

1. Don't pay or negotiate with anyone threatening to share images. Paying rarely ends it.
2. Keep evidence: screenshots, usernames, links and messages, with dates.
3. Report it to the platform hosting it, and to the police.
4. Get specialist help:
   • UK: the Revenge Porn Helpline helps adults get intimate images removed.
   • Anywhere, adults 18+: StopNCII.org creates a digital fingerprint (a hash) of an image on your own device, so participating platforms can detect and block copies without the image ever leaving your phone.
   • Australia: the eSafety Commissioner can help get intimate images taken down and stop threats to share them.
   • United States: the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative's Image Abuse Helpline is open 24/7 on 844-878-2274.

For anything that happens at a venue, tell staff first and see our safety guide.